My friend Monda says there is a quote that says envy is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I can't find the source. Any help with this?
It's a great quote!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Dogs, Cats, Ancient Philosophers and Envy
I have a favorite cartoon that I can’t find right now but it shows an eagle soaring high in the sky and looking down at a cozy nest with a sparrow reading the paper and smoking a pipe. At least that’s how I remember the picture. The caption asks, “Does the eagle envy the sparrow safe in his own little nest or the sparrow envy the eagle soaring above all the rest?” Well, it was something like that anyway.
I sort of expect that animals don’t experience envy as we know it. A dog might want a bone because another dog has one but he doesn’t think that the other dog is necessarily better than he is. On the other hand, dogs have the good sense to submit when they are overwhelmed by a bigger, stronger dog. Is that just survival or does he know the other dog is superior?
I often observe our “Deck Cats”. These are the strays of the neighborhood that seem to accumulate on our deck because they know my husband is a sucker for cats. They peer in at the “Inside Cats” and the inside cats peer back at them. Does one envy the other? On the coldest nights, I imagine the outside cats must be envious but if they are capable of that feeling, do the inside cats envy their freedom?
What do cats think anyway? Do they think dogs are stupid for being so subservient to humans? They do seem disdainful and indifferent to human commands, demands or wishes—unless, of course, they want something—usually food.
Maybe that’s why the Egyptians worshipped cats. They couldn’t believe that cats could act so superior and condescending without good cause. It’s certainly hard to imagine a cat envying any other creature. If there is something they want, they go get it. If they can’t get it, they decide they didn’t want it after all.
Cats may be on to something. Things are what they are and we might as well make the best of it. What, exactly, does that mean? “Make the best of it.” Does that mean we should submit and not struggle against whatever we might feel is getting the best of us? What is this envy thing all about anyway?
Envy is resenting another person who has something we want and wishing them to be deprived of it. Can we envy without resenting? Can we want something someone else has and not want them to be deprived of it? My friend Joanne balks at the second half of the definition and thinks we can envy without the wanting to deprive aspect. I wonder about that too.
Envy is one of the “Cardinal” or “Deadly”sins. The others are wrath, greed, pride, sloth, lust and gluttony. I’m pretty sure I have been guilty of all of them at one time or another. How can these be deadly? Shouldn’t the deadly sins be more serious offenses? I’m thinking of things like murder, pillaging or really dirty dancing.
In Dante’s purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to “have their eyes sewn shut with wire because they have gained pleasure from seeing others brought low.” Aquinas described envy as “sorrow for another’s good”. Both of these descriptions would imply that there is a very ugly underside to envy.
If we covet something that belongs to our friend or neighbor, do we necessarily want to take it from them? The above definitions would indicate that we do. Why bother forbidding or punishing envy if it is merely a gentle jealousy?
This whole train of thought started because of a discussion I had with Joanne about envying friends for their interesting and active lives. The vacations my friends take, the closeness they enjoy with their children and grandchildren, the weekend get-away trips to the coast or wine country, the plays and musical events they attend—all generate a feeling I can only describe as envy. Can’t I want their active, healthy lives without wanting to deprive them of what they have certainly earned for themselves? I hope so.
Now, having considered it all in the context of cats, dogs and ancient philosophers, I think I can conclude that it’s ok to envy a little as long as I keep my focus on the things I enjoy here at home—my man, our pets, our garden, our friends, our DVR capabilities and my mountain of wonderful books waiting to be read. As I grow stronger and begin to think about the activities I can add back into my own life, I realize that I might have an enviable life my own self.
So, maybe it’s ok to hear about a friend’s adventure and feel a moment of envy as long as it’s just a moment of feeling that I would have enjoyed that too but I certainly have no desire to take it from them. I can live with that.
And, by the way, we leave for Kauai next Monday so feel free to experience a moment or two of envy.
.
I sort of expect that animals don’t experience envy as we know it. A dog might want a bone because another dog has one but he doesn’t think that the other dog is necessarily better than he is. On the other hand, dogs have the good sense to submit when they are overwhelmed by a bigger, stronger dog. Is that just survival or does he know the other dog is superior?
I often observe our “Deck Cats”. These are the strays of the neighborhood that seem to accumulate on our deck because they know my husband is a sucker for cats. They peer in at the “Inside Cats” and the inside cats peer back at them. Does one envy the other? On the coldest nights, I imagine the outside cats must be envious but if they are capable of that feeling, do the inside cats envy their freedom?
What do cats think anyway? Do they think dogs are stupid for being so subservient to humans? They do seem disdainful and indifferent to human commands, demands or wishes—unless, of course, they want something—usually food.
Maybe that’s why the Egyptians worshipped cats. They couldn’t believe that cats could act so superior and condescending without good cause. It’s certainly hard to imagine a cat envying any other creature. If there is something they want, they go get it. If they can’t get it, they decide they didn’t want it after all.
Cats may be on to something. Things are what they are and we might as well make the best of it. What, exactly, does that mean? “Make the best of it.” Does that mean we should submit and not struggle against whatever we might feel is getting the best of us? What is this envy thing all about anyway?
Envy is resenting another person who has something we want and wishing them to be deprived of it. Can we envy without resenting? Can we want something someone else has and not want them to be deprived of it? My friend Joanne balks at the second half of the definition and thinks we can envy without the wanting to deprive aspect. I wonder about that too.
Envy is one of the “Cardinal” or “Deadly”sins. The others are wrath, greed, pride, sloth, lust and gluttony. I’m pretty sure I have been guilty of all of them at one time or another. How can these be deadly? Shouldn’t the deadly sins be more serious offenses? I’m thinking of things like murder, pillaging or really dirty dancing.
In Dante’s purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to “have their eyes sewn shut with wire because they have gained pleasure from seeing others brought low.” Aquinas described envy as “sorrow for another’s good”. Both of these descriptions would imply that there is a very ugly underside to envy.
If we covet something that belongs to our friend or neighbor, do we necessarily want to take it from them? The above definitions would indicate that we do. Why bother forbidding or punishing envy if it is merely a gentle jealousy?
This whole train of thought started because of a discussion I had with Joanne about envying friends for their interesting and active lives. The vacations my friends take, the closeness they enjoy with their children and grandchildren, the weekend get-away trips to the coast or wine country, the plays and musical events they attend—all generate a feeling I can only describe as envy. Can’t I want their active, healthy lives without wanting to deprive them of what they have certainly earned for themselves? I hope so.
Now, having considered it all in the context of cats, dogs and ancient philosophers, I think I can conclude that it’s ok to envy a little as long as I keep my focus on the things I enjoy here at home—my man, our pets, our garden, our friends, our DVR capabilities and my mountain of wonderful books waiting to be read. As I grow stronger and begin to think about the activities I can add back into my own life, I realize that I might have an enviable life my own self.
So, maybe it’s ok to hear about a friend’s adventure and feel a moment of envy as long as it’s just a moment of feeling that I would have enjoyed that too but I certainly have no desire to take it from them. I can live with that.
And, by the way, we leave for Kauai next Monday so feel free to experience a moment or two of envy.
.
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