Pain Chronicles

I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been laid low by back pain. I couple of people have told me to write about it, so I did. Here's what I wrote...

Sated with sleep,
like a soggy sponge unable to absorb another drop.
The escape hatch of sleep closes
leaving me to feel the pain that sleep masks.

It hurts to stand and sitting is worse.
My buttocks are on fire as warring nerves
ignite the battlefield that is my butt, my back, my legs.

Lying on my stomach is painful.
Lying on my back is worse.
That leaves my poor hips to bear the brunt
of too much pressure for too many hours.

My focus has fled.
My mind stutters through alternatives.
Pills that don’t give enough relief.
Or last long enough.
Is their power waning?
Or is the pain just getting stronger?

Surgery looms—a fearful long and complicated thing.
My surgeon is confident.
My brain counsels caution.
My back begs, “Bring it on!”
Anything, anything would be better than this half life.

My physical therapist pleads for patience and more time.
My heart hopes.
My back scoffs.
My body grows weaker.

The future looks too full of pain to contemplate.

A gentle voice reminds me,
“One day at a time.”