Friday, April 24, 2009
Five Days and Counting
I saw the anesthesiologist yesterday for my EKG, blood work and instructions for surgery. Now all I will have to do is stay healthy so that surgery won't be delayed further. This is the first time in my life I have had surgery when I feel good. There is nothing to "fix". At least nothing I can feel. That's a little disconcerting.
I will begin a course of treatment that includes surgery, chemo and radiation--all of which will make me feel bad in one way or another and right now I feel just fine. There is no pain and if I didn't know that there was cancer inside me, I would have no physical clues at all. It's all very odd. I do not dread the surgery, but I do dread being unable to do things afterwards. Oh well. I know I must simply put one foot in front of the other until it is finished and all my treatments are over. Then I can try to reclaim my life and do the things I enjoy.
Meanwhile, we are on several prayer chains covering several denominations including Georgian Orthodox. Prayers traveling up from around the world in Georgia, Oklahoma, Washington, Oregon, Utah, Texas, California... I can imagine God thinking, "Who is this woman anyway?" Actually I’m pretty sure He remembers saving me once before.
Maybe He wants to know if I made good use of the thirteen years He gave me. I hope He approves of some of the things I’ve done, but of course I fell short. I know I could have done better. That’s why there’s Grace and thank God for it!
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You need no Grace, you are already full of it! Pun intended! You cannot fall short, you are perfect and whole and loved and needed. Hell, We've all made good use of the last 13 years of your life; you are not the only one who has benefitted. I know that I have not taken one day for granted, and I've never forgotten how close we came to losing you. So God knows well how much love has come from the past 13 years. There is plenty of grace here, none need be granted. XXXOOO!!!
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